Patented Skateboard Inventions
Now it is easier than ever to show that you're a skateboarder without risking any of the injuries. Just strap a skateboard to you back with the "Adjustable Skate Carrier." Don't try duplicating this patented invention with just any old piece of rope. This invention is for a piece of rope that "can be easily folded for stowing in a pocket or pack when not in use." And for those of you looking to copy the Jason Adams cowboy look, check out this skate holster. According to the patent, it can be "optimized to carry equipment of an elongated nature, such as . . . skateboards." Wearing an actual skateboard on your body will earn you a lot more credibility then just wearing an Independent Truck Co. shirt.
Skateboard accessories are about to make a big comeback. But it won't be limited to just ripping off the old Tracker coper. Instead, you can now "pimp" your skateboard. First, buy an illuminated skateboard. Second, add the Combined Skateboard and Radio and Cassette Tape Player. And to keep it from getting stolen, add the Combination Skateboard Lock and Trick Device. This pad lock (or "U-shaped shackle" as the patent calls it) sticks out from the nose of the deck. Not only does it keep your board safe, it is also bent upward "thereby forming a trick handle." You can probably even use the handle for nose slides.
With the renaissance of concrete skateparks, turning is once again a necessary part of skateboarding. Luckily someone figured out that with the addition of a steering assembly (fancy talk for long metal stick), you can achieve "higher turning capabilities" and probably break your break your windpipe at the same time. An alternative is this piece of pipe that goes right through the board and affixes to the truck.
Perhaps the only thing harder than turning a skateboard is getting it in the air. So why not stick a handle through the center of your board (this also appears to be a good way to remove your genitals while skating), and tether it to your waist? Another solution would be to attach a piece of string to your skateboard. And for those of you who have become accustomed to snowboarding, you can add foot hooks to your skateboard.
If you spend serious money on bearings like I do, then you
probably
have trouble slowing down. Now there's help. If you're old
school, try the foot
brake. If, on the other hand, you're into bmx, then go with
the hand
brake.
The "Macdaddy Skateboard Corp." in Whittier, CA, is the proud owner of a patented invention that skaters will likely refer to as fruitboarding. And if the unholy marriage of a skateboard with an in-line skate is not enough, then consider combining a skateboard with ice skates.
If your city does not want to spend the money designing a skatepark, then try one of these patented designs. The first is a "skateboard rink," which consists of a series of mounds of dirt with a concrete path poured over them. Alternatively, if you like skateboarding but feel that it is missing the excitement of team sports, then suggest that your city build a "skateboard arena."
Finally, Hawk may have retired from competition, but he'll never have to hang up his skateboard permanently. Pretty soon he'll be pulling airs while sitting down, after converting his skateboard with this handle post and fold-out seat. And when Alva turns 60, he'll still be able to carve pools after attaching this recliner frame to his skateboard. As the patent explains:Older persons . . . find themselves hindered in enjoying the full pleasure offered by the skate board. This is because it is intended that a person stand erect on the skate board and do a "balancing act" while riding on it. The inability of such nonagile persons to maintain themselves upright and lean from side to side so as to proceed in a winding pathway, curtails their rides on the skate board.
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